It's been two months since I got laid. I'm just going to put that out there right now. Two months to the day. And it's not like I've been counting or anything, I'm just really good at remembering ridiculous, inconsequential things. And I weighed myself this morning. There's a general consensus around here that since we fixed the scale, it's been reading four pounds heavier than normal. So while I take my 147 lbs this morning as a sign from The Fates that it's time to start running, I also recognize that that same 147lbs could very well be 143. And let's face it. 143 can obviously be rounded down to 140. I've been a steady 140 most of my life. But just to give you an idea of how this COULD continue to go, let's dissect what I ate yesterday:
8:30AM: I drink a cup of coffee with Chocolate Toffee coffee creamer, no sugar.
12:30PM: I'm famished, and only have ten minutes to eat at work, so I run over to Espresso, etc. to grab something quick... and the only "quick" thing to eat he has is a lemon bar. I'll take one. I run to smoke a cigarette, then jet back inside, down the lemon bar in four bites, and am back on the floor to help Mary with ornaments in record time.
3:30PM: I have a half hour break coming to me, so I call Jules to see if she wants to meet for lunch. Being mostly unemployed, and seriously short on time, I suggest a quickie-lunch at Taco Bell. She orders a soft taco supreme. I order my usual: cheesy bean and rice burrito with sour cream and a diet soda.
5:00PM: I leave work, make it home by 5:15 and chill for 20 minutes. Then I grab myself a Sam Adams from the fridge, and hunker on down with my new book and the chaise lounge outside.
7:00PM: Dad decides he's hungry, but takes his sweet time figuring out what he wants. I grab another Sam Adams and tell him to let me know when he's ready.
8:00PM: After a disappointing trip to a so-called deli that can only be described as "the place where people go to die", we make our way to Jrecks and then Burger King, so as to satisfy everyone's needs. I order half of a turkey sub with a little mayo, no Russian dressing, with cheese, lettuce, tomato, and onions. I then share a large order of fries with Jules, with my signature onion ring sauce, and a diet soda there as well.
11:00PM: I eat a banana bread muffin that Jules made, with a little bit of melted butter and a glass of milk.
Awful stuff, isn't it. The truth is, I've always eaten what I wanted. Very rarely do I censor myself. But that's just plain bad. A day full of fast food, sugar and carbs does not a fit girl make. So. I've dusted off my sneakers, and updated my iPod with all the new songs I've downloaded in the last three weeks. We're going to take the cans back for a little extra cash, run some errands around town, and then come back here for a run/walk if it kills us. I'm going to try and talk Sam into going with us. My goal is to look stunning for Les's wedding next June. I know it's a long shot, but let's face it: I'm unemployed with really nothing better to do. Wish me luck.
PS: I just realized that it's 1PM and I've got nothing in my system but two cups of coffee and two cigarettes. This could be the root of all of my problems right here. Just a thought.
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