My Harvest candle is burning and I recently discovered a new flavor of coffee creamer that has essentially brought Starbucks into my kitchen. Life is great. Unfortunately, Ben and Micaela did NOT get married this past weekend (much to my disappointment), but I think that it's coming in the future. This thought keeps me warm at night and helps me to know that where I'm at is exactly where I'm supposed to be. A year ago, if you'd asked me how I'd feel about Ben marrying the girl he not-so-carefully screwed around with, I'd have died; stopped breathing completely and passed out from a broken heart. But 371 days later, I feel like the Tin Man in Wizard of Oz. I've got a fresh set of priorities and a brand new heart.
Thank God everything happened the way it did. When Ben started calling me at the end of July, I figured I'd been dragged back in for another year of drama. I was reliving all of my old feelings for him, wavering between love and hate, while fantasizing about the day we'd be together again. It was a joke. I lost myself for a little bit there, and even I'm ashamed to admit it. But it's okay now, I've found my footing again, and the "anniversary" of our break-up came and went without a tear. I dreamt about him last night, but I can't recall in what context the dream took place. He's easier to forget now that I don't hear his voice.
The countdown to Vermont continues at exactly 31 days, and I can't wait. Ornament debut at Hallmark is the 9th-11th of October, and because I'm a huge dork, I'm excited about this as well. I always feel like September is hardest for me because I really want to start celebrating Christmas then, but by October, it doesn't seem as insane. Bring on the tinsel.
Alright, I must go. There's much cleaning to be done (even though our cleaning lady is, at this exact moment, finishing up for the week), and I still have to work at 3. I haven't counted to see when my next day off will be because I'm afraid of the answer. The only upside to this is that these next two weeks have a good mixture of long and short days. Sometimes only working a four hour shift seems like a day off because it's such cake. What has my life come to?
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