Yesterday was hard. Normally I wouldn't be so emotional about it, but I still can't wrap my head around how young he was. It keeps me up at night. Literally. I hopped on Facebook last night and noticed that his brother had also left him a message; quite simply it said, "Happy Birthday, Christian". It's weird when the world moves on from such a tragedy, even though I know it happens more often that it should. It also makes me remember the little things; to be kind to everyone, because you never know what they're going through inside and to tell the ones you love that you do every single day. Don't ever let them wonder. So, Christian, it's goodbye for now. Know that you changed my life and that I loved with you with my whole heart. I'm sure you will be in my thoughts each day.

I didn't sleep much again last night, but I've started to not be surprised by this. I can honestly say that this is the worst bout of insomnia I've ever had. Over the years, when Ben and I would go through tough times it would keep me up, but never to this extent. It's been two weeks and I've probably slept an average of four hours each night. I don't even let it worry me anymore because that just adds to the stress. I know at some point my body will have to relax and take over. It does have me wondering what the underlying problem is here. All I want is to wake up refreshed, instead of exhausted, so that my day doesn't always seem impossible.

Herb finally got down to the nitty gritty (we forced him) and finished the schedule for his vacation in two weeks and for ours the week after. Just seeing Vermont on the calendar gets me excited. 22 days and counting. I can't wait.

Alright, I need to get ready for work. I'm going to try and remember what day it is today (Tuesday? Wednesday!) and not fall asleep in my car, or at the counter, or in the shoe room. Wish me luck.