Real Life.

Okay, guys. It seems I have found myself in a spot of financial trouble and I need your help.

Let's face it: I've never been a saver. Actually, that's not true. Sometime after I left home for school, I caught the spending bug and never looked back. But before that, as a teenager and even younger, I was always a saver. I'm not sure what changed, if it was the freedom, or a void I was trying to fill, but my satisfaction used to come from reading books and spending time with the people I love, and now it comes from a very different, very materialistic place. I need to go back to the simplicity of it all; spending $8 on a book I really want, rather than $68 on underwear. It's ludacris. This person isn't me. And while I know it's cheesy, and somewhat unrealistic, today everything needs to change. It's midnight, and I'm ready to let go. I've done so much changing already. I know I have it in me. So here's what I need from all of you:

1) You have my official permission to slap me, poke me, yell at me and just generally make me feel like crap every time I look at an article of clothing, or otherwise unnecessary item for purchase.
2) Tough love. I need to be reminded that the reason my father cannot buy clothes from this decade to go on a date is because I do stupid, selfish things like this. No, I'm not getting down on myself. However, I need a good reality check sometimes to remind me of the things that are important. He is the MOST important man in my life. No excuse. I cannot let him down again.
3) I love you all for helping me through this and I know that you'll do the best that you can. But the truth is, I do need to learn some independence. So when you feel as though I can financially fly on my own, let me go. Until that happens, I need a babysitter. It's a sad and shameful truth, but I'm a smart girl and I WILL learn.
4) Let's find cheap and easy ways to have fun and occupy our time. I know that I'm not the only one who spends money unwisely, often out of boredom. Sam, let's run/walk in the morning somewhere to save on the cost of classes and the spa and get in some extra hangout time (like we don't spend enough together as it is). Let's stay in and play pool, drink wine, make snacks, watch movies. But I do think it would be a fun little exercise to try and find cheap and fun ways to do things around here. I know it's Massena. I know our resources are limited. We'll just have to be creative.

Okay. That's it for now. I'm going to head to bed and try to get some rest. I've got a lot to think about, and a lot couple of days ahead of me. But I'll get through this. And at the end of this tunnel, I'm going to treat myself to a delicious, $2.24, DD French Vanilla iced coffee with extra cream, no sugar. I guarantee you I'll deserve it.