Non-smoker? Non-smoker, anyone?

I've only had three cigarettes in the last five days or so. I know that doesn't qualify me for any medals but I'm feeling pretty damn proud of myself. Especially considering the climate in which I decided to quit. The store has been a very stressful place to be lately, with our lack of sales and the dwindling amount of customers walking in and realizing we're now selling crap. Additionally, I've got this on-going stuff with Ben, and then I saw Mark for the first time this past weekend. Talk about a challenge. I'm not too hung up on the fact that I haven't "quit" entirely; I'm just so proud of myself for being able to change it at all. I feel less guilty, and I'm really working on getting Dad to do it with me. It's hard because I'm around so little these days, and when he's alone, smoking is his ally.

I start back at the bookstore this week, which means, officially, I'll be working three jobs. I'm looking forward to the money, and staying busy, with our Vermont girl's weekend in October my shining star in the distance. I'd like to have some money saved for it so that when I finally arrive in Burlington, lots of fun can ensue.

I haven't totally put this moving thing on the back burner either; though, I'm starting to think that perhaps I'm one of the Van Wilders in life... I just can't seem to find my niche. There are so many things I'd like to dabble in that committing to just one for a lifetime seems terrifying. I'm torn between wanting to feel normal and successful and wanting to throw caution to the wind to figure out what my true passions are. I've lived my life too safely up until this point to not consider the option.

So. There's my life in a nutshell. I know I haven't written in awhile; it comes and goes. I was feeling too vulnerable to write after everything that happened and I didn't want to say something I'd regret later. I'm feeling great now though, so hopefully you guys feel it too.

PS: It smells like Fall today, and I'm oh so happy about that.