"My mother used to say, 'Life is all about choices.' And it is. It really is."

I'm in a rut. Let's just get that out of the way right now. My days are exactly the same, every one of them. I wake up; I have an exact ratio of coffee creamer and half and half that I add to my coffee. I sit in front of my computer, check out the latest deals on all of my favorite shopping websites, and then check my email, and the news. Depending on where Sam is, I'll give her a call and see how she's doing/what her plans are for the day. Then I'll take a quick shower, get dressed, grab some lunch, and I'm off to work. When I get home from work, which is between 9 and 9:30 most nights, I watch one of five shows, depending on the day. I head to bed around midnight, watch Will and Grace and Frasier while falling asleep, then wake up and do it all over again. I feel like I have a minor case of Groundhog day every morning. I'm not complaining, I don't think; just making an observation. I know it's in me to love habit; I like feeling safe, I like knowing what's coming next, and I really, really hate change. But then I do think that I've dealt with a lot of change over the last couple of years, and I think I've handled it quite gracefully.

I think I'm just ready for something new. A new job, a new routine, something to get me excited, even if only for a little while. I have a lot of things to get done today, and on the top of that list is applying for jobs. I could certainly stand to think about my schooling options, though I'm not rushing myself. I'd love to meet someone who can maintain my interest for longer than 30 seconds, but I would settle for simply meeting someone who makes my heart beat a little faster. I'd love to have a place of my own, to decorate the way I want, to do the things I want. It's really very simple. I just need a change. And it's all in me. I'm always the one to put things off until tomorrow, or somehow think that a job will land in my lap by doing nothing. I don't push for the things I really want, lately, I think, because I haven't known what those things were. I want to be near my family though, and I can't stay here with my father forever, regardless of how much we all know he needs me. So if I want to survive here, and be around for the next 20 or 30 years with all of them, then I need to get my ass in gear and try to find some steady employment.

So today is the day. I've also got to clean my car, pick up some groceries, bring some old clothes to the SA, have a pair of my pants hemmed, and send out a handful of cards all before work at three. Let's see how much I can accomplish on this beautiful day. READY? GO!