WANTED:

An honest, hard-working, impossibly good-looking man. Preferably sweet, humble, self-aware, independent, well-read, and somewhat romantic. I accept all ethnicities and backgrounds, but assholes need not apply. If you're good with crazy families you'll fit right in, if you're a hermit, you're no good here. The ability to follow social norms and drink large amounts of tequila will definitely get my attention. The way to my heart really is through my stomach. MUST HAVE: a sense of humor, kind eyes, and a good heart. MUST LOVE: my wit, my banter, my annoying habits, my smoking (trying to quit), my family, my breath in the morning and my complete inability to keep my clothes on after three glasses of wine. MUST ENJOY: singing and dancing in public, and any general ridiculousness that will cause embarassment.

If you fit this description, come and find me. If you're God waiting to laugh at me and tell me he doesn't exist, save it. I'm still waiting for my white horse.